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Flatliners – It’s Nice To Meet You, Mrs. Manning

This movie ended up “flat-lining” at the box office, deservedly so. I can’t think of a better way to waste your time than by watching this. You’ll feel like you definitely flat-lined too.

Summary

Flatliners (2017) is directed by Niels Arden Oplev. It’s also a horror remake of the movie of the same name in 1990.

It stars Ellen Page, Diego Luna, Nina Dobrev, James Norton, and Kiersey Clemons as the main cast members.

Interested in wanting to discover the mystery and limits of life, five medical students decide to undergo a bold and dangerous experiment.

They begin by triggering near-death experiences through stopping their heart rate and pulse for a short space of time.

The experiment turns sideways however when the participants are forced to confront the sins and mistakes of their past while dealing with the paranormal consequences of traversing the unknown path to the other side of life: Death.

Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures

Terrible Story

I’m gonna save you the hassle from watching this and be as straightforward and candid as possible.

This movie was a complete bore and drag for me continually.

Several moments I caught myself dozing off and spacing into daydreaming land. There are so many things that don’t make sense in this film I don’t even know where to begin.

To start, the first aspect that seemed laughably idiotic was when the medical students found their own personal hack for killing themselves and then resuscitating back to life.

One moment they don’t know what they’re doing, and then all of a sudden, whoop-dee-doo, they happen to become experts at reviving themselves back up like Lazarus?

Then they just proceed to take their turns going on the flatline express like it’s just some Ferris wheel to have fun riding on, except it involves gambling their life into a dangerously fatal outcome?

Is this plot a joke?

Why don’t they try slicing off some of their body parts and growing them back through stem cell regeneration while they’re at it?

It won’t matter anyways since the narrative is already ludicrous.

Absurd Direction & Writing

One other thing I found confusing was the disorganized direction that the plot was muddled in.

The story is just all over the place.

Sometimes it tried to be a Sci-Fi flick by explaining and showing to the viewer the different strategies and methods of practical medical procedures.

The writing included words and phrases of hocus-pocus science jargon that are so co-mingled and intertwined it sounded like the characters were passing around a metaphorical word salad to each other.

Other times it tried to look like a drama by implementing scenes with the students hanging out at a bar or musical location with food and talking about the effects and consequences of them “flatlining” and what that means for them and their safety.

And then the direction takes another perplexing turn and suddenly I’m now watching a horror movie.

The overall progression and structure of the exposition simply didn’t make an ounce of common sense to me.

Cliche’d & Overblown Horror

When it comes to the jump scares that were executed, absolutely none of them had any effect on me whatsoever.

And to make it even worse, they were so overused and became worn out after just the first or second one.

There wasn’t really any reason for most of them to be included.

They did nothing but irritate me as I could see them coming from 1000 miles away and were set up as being ridiculously predictable.

I know this was meant to be a horror thriller, but it actually came off as kind of a comedy due to some scenes being developed so horrifically dumb it actually portrayed itself as comical.

That’s about the only redeeming thing I found from this cheap show.

Photo: Sony Pictures

Final Thoughts

It wouldn’t really matter if I mentioned the performances in this movie since I know mostly everyone is gonna forget about it within a couple of days.

Hell, I’m already forgetting it as I type this sentence out.

What were the character’s names again? Anyways, I’m glad I won’t have to revisit this again after I’m done writing this review.

If you haven’t seen it yet, consider yourself lucky.

Flatliners is a waste of time and will indisputably dry you laboriously of your mental energy.

I originally had hope for it before going in and being bombarded with the tedious drag of the whole direction and story.

I liked the movie concept, to be quite honest.

A group of college medical students embarking on the study of a lifetime and encountering a breakthrough in the field of neuroscience and medicine?

That would’ve been awesome to watch.

This film takes several wrong turns sadly before even knowing the general idea of where it should start.

FP Score – Faulty

Rating: 1 out of 5.

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