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Dolittle – Snitches Get Stitches, Man

I‘ll admit, it was a bit hard reminding myself that I wasn’t looking at Tony Stark anymore. But, damn. Robert Downey Jr. basically merged that character with himself to the point where he’s unrecognizable anywhere else.


Dolittle (2020) is directed by Stephen Gaghan and distributed by Universal Pictures.

It stars Robert Downey Jr. as the main actor, as well as supporting cast members such as Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, and Tom Holland.

The film portrays Dr. Dolittle, living in isolation in his luxurious manor in 19th Century England.

His only source of friendship and social relations comes from a group of unique animals he communicates with on a daily basis.

When young Queen Victoria however becomes severely sick, the strange doctor and his trusted friends embark on an extravagant adventure to a fabled island to search for a cure.

Incoherent Direction & Plot

I’ll just give it to you straight away.

This movie absolutely bored the ever living shit out of me.

The direction is probably the worst element in the plot. It gave me the impression of being handled with sloppiness and incoherence.

When I went into it for the first 20 minutes, I immediately knew this was highly likely to evolve into a disaster.

And I was confirmed.

The plot development didn’t make any common sense to me.

Basically, the main character travels on a journey with some Robin-wannabe kid and animals he can talk to.

He takes a quest to venture into some unknown island while being impeded by British soldiers.

He then arrives there and…

Extracts a bag pipe out of a dragon’s ass?

What? What in the world is this story?

Did the director just give up mid-way, and by the ending he just went Bill O’Reilly style and shout, “Fuck it! We’ll do it live!”?

The structure and organization of practically all the scenes simply just felt unattended to and rushed.

Photo Credit: Universal Pictures

Uncomedic Writing

The writing as well wasn’t even that funny.

Most of the attempted jokes they tried implementing came off as cliche’d and uninteresting.

I also couldn’t really follow what the characters were saying to each other often, due to the ridiculous British tone that was constantly getting in the way of the narrative.

Most of it sounded convoluted and incomprehensible.

The animals as well that tried to provide laughs for the audience through bickering, only portrayed itself as dull.

They probably managed to fool the 5-year-old’s that simply liked watching the animals interact with each other, but not me.

The overall writing and dialogue with these creatures, along with Dolittle, just wasn’t that entertaining.

Decent CGI

I only have one good thing to say about this film.

The CGI appeared passingly okay.

Some aspects though came off as generic imagery, typical of low-budget, cheap CGI.

But for the most part, the visuals were created and showcased normally well.

It seems fair to give credit to the animators that tried their best, I hope, to illustrate visually aesthetic scenes with well-formulated animals.

I did admittedly appreciate the way they looked, such as the polar bear and gorilla.

The surrounding environment as well was developed adequately.

Sadly, this is the only good element that the movie has to stand on.

Everything else was done awfully.

Universal Pictures

Downey’s Performance

To be honest, I didn’t vibe with the way Robert Downey Jr. acted out his role with a semi-British tone.

I have a sure feeling you didn’t too.

The way he kept speaking just sounded ludicrous and inarticulate.

One pet peeve that developed for me was when he kept uttering that stupid word, “Oi!”.

Oi!, Don’t question my authority and decisiveness, you hear?

Whenever he did that, I just couldn’t help but be irritated at how incredibly insufferable that sounded.

Also, the character Mudfly, played by Michael Sheen, was portrayed so clearly as that typical generic, megalomaniacal villain twirling his mustache.

He too annoyed me whenever he appeared on screen.

It’s genuinely disappointing for me to see Downey play this guy badly, right after he exited the MCU universe so beautifully.

Hopefully, he does better moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Frankly, what did I expect?

This movie was released last January of this year. January movies are infamously known to be train-wrecks.

This one only proves and accelerates that stereotype sadly.

The direction is handled terribly, the writing is abominable, and most performances were wearisome.

I can only uphold the CGI and visuals, but even that has its downsides and flaws as well.

Dolittle wasn’t at all engaging for me, and the ending also closed with a sense of being unfinished and messy.

It was most definitely doo-doo and little.

FP Score – Faulty

Rating: 1 out of 5.

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